Somewhere Between Mama and Me

 There’s something I’ve been holding inside for a while — something soft, a little raw, and hard to put into words. I think many mothers feel it, but not many say it out loud. So today, I’m choosing to be honest — with you, and with myself.

There are days I feel like I’ve disappeared.
Not in a tragic way — just… slowly faded beneath the laundry piles, the meal planning, the soothing, the holding-it-all-together. I am a mother, yes. Gratefully, lovingly, fully. But sometimes, I wonder — where did I go?

There’s a strange ache that comes with loving your child more than your own breath, yet secretly longing for a quiet hour just to hear your own thoughts again.

I miss being me. The girl who loved café hopping, who sang ballads into the silence of her room, who could lie in bed and feel her own feelings without interruption.
Now, I often lie down and search for quotes that say what I can’t — words that reflect a heart tired of being strong all the time.

Motherhood is beautiful, yes. But it’s also lonely in ways no one warns you about. You can be surrounded by laughter and still ache for something unnamed. And that doesn’t make me ungrateful. It just makes me human.

This isn’t a complaint. It’s just me — letting myself say the quiet parts out loud.
Because somewhere between Mama and Me, I know there’s space for both.
I just need help finding my way back to her.

If you’ve ever felt this too — know that you’re not alone. We’re all trying to hold space for the many versions of ourselves. And maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to not have it all figured out yet.

“I’m still learning how to be everything for someone else without forgetting I am someone too.”

With love,
— Iffie