Hollow..

Assalamualaikum..
haven't been updating on myself a lot lately isn't it?
well, lots to tell but never had the mood to do so..
my posts have been shorter and shorter by time..
as myself has been all over the place lately..
busy with work..
workload getting more and more everyday..
relationship?
i dunno..
maybe he's just not ready to take the next step yet..
we both aren't..
but he's been more unwilling than ever..
maybe he has been rethinking the whole marrying me thing..
who knows right?
he just left me feeling empty sometimes..
until I wonder whether the feeling is still mutual..
or am I the only one hoping..
when we see each other it feels forced..
like he's just entertaining me for the sake of my happiness..
not for his..
i just wish i can see the truth behind all this..
he has been reluctant almost everytime i ask him out..
then my head will start spinning from all my thoughts..
does he still love me?
does he have someone else?
is he bored with me?
why is he like this?
maybe he doesn't want me anymore..
God, please give me strength to go through this..
if he's not meant to be mine please give me strength to let him go..
if we're meant for each other, please open his heart to fight for us..
fight for this relationship..
even when i am giving up..

time to go..

Assalamualaikum..
It's has been a while hasn't it?
Much to update but the mood was absent so I just left it there..
Well, to keep things short..my best friend is married..
He is now a very proud husband to Mrs A..
I pray that you guys will be happy until your last breaths..
stay strong through any challenges that may come ahead..
I'm sorry that I did not come for your solemnization..
I just can't bear the fact that you're married..
and someone's husband..
I've finally realized that it is indeed time for me to let you go..
good bye my crush..
you're just gonna one of my guy friends starting now..
and I may not come for your wedding day..
i don't think i'm strong enough for that..
stay happy my friend..

Warkah Buat Nenda

Assalamualaikum..

Atok sihat?
Atok gembira ke kat sana?
iffie harap atok tenang kat sana..
di samping kekasih kita..
iffie rindu atok..
terasa macam semalam atok pergi tinggalkan kita semua..
tapi realitinya dah 7 tahun atok pergi..
kalau atok ada mesty atok happy..
iffie da habis belajar tok..
dah dapat diploma..
sekarang dah kerja..
kak leen dengan kak eeza dah kahwin..
masing2 dah ada anak dua.
cicit atok da ada 4 orang..
seorang perempuan 3 orang lelaki..
cantik2 hensem2..
pandai2 pulak tu..
inshaAllah kalau ada rezeki iffie pula menyusul tok..
iffie harap sangat atok ada masa iffie kahwin..
tapi Allah lebih sayangkan atok..
mungkin ni untuk yang terbaik..
iffie nak minta restu dari atok..
atok restu ya?
walaupun atok dah jauh tapi iffie tetap rasa atok ada..
iffie redha dengan pemergian atok..
sebab atok tak payah tengok keluarga kita sekarang..
masing2 bawa haluan sendiri..
mesti atok sedih kalau nampak semua ni..
maafkan iffie tok, sbb tak dapat nak jaga keluarga kita..
tapi iffie janji iffie akan cerita pasal atok dekat anak2 iffie nanti..
biar diorang kenal moyang diorang..
atok mesti penat kan?
atok tidur ye..
iffie akan jaga semuanya dekat sini..
terima kasih untuk jasa atok selama ni..
kirim salam iffie dekat Tok Ayah..
Assalamualaikum..
semoga kita berjumpa di syurga Jannah nanti..
Al-Fatihah Zabidah Bt Abdullah & Ibrahim Bin Ahmad..

My Decisions, My Regrets

tak semua org akan paham ape yg kau lalui..
tapi diorg cepat jatuhkan hukum..
pelik kan?
tp tu la kenyataan..
setiap keputusan yg kau buat mungkin tak betul tapi..
bagi aku biar la aku berjaya atau gagal sebab usaha aku sendiri..
lebih bagus dr org tlg aku tapi tepaksa tanggung malu sebab aku gagal..
mak dengan ayah slalu ckp 'biar la org nk ckp ape..diorg x rse ape kte rse'
mmg btul tp kte nie tetap manusia kn..
ada tahapnye..
sampai mane kte bole bertahan..
sekarang nie aku nk pentingkn dri sndri..
lantak la org nk ckp ape..
aku x peduli..
yg pnting aku happy..