responsibility??

responsibility..
that is a big word isn't it..
some people fear it..
some take it as a challenge to themselves..
me?
i don't even know what does this word means to me..
i may fear it at times, but i will always turn it around as a challenge..
now the situation is i've been asked to attend an interview for a job advancement..
meaning i have the opportunity to be promoted to team lead position..
but the responsibility will be bigger..
so the question is..
do i or do i not have what it takes to be a good leader?
can i take the responsibility?
i kept on thinking about it until it affects my daily life..
hope i will find a way to overcome this fear..
bismillah..

fallen angel..

dear atok..
i miss u..
how are u up there?
are u doing fine?
i hope everything's well with u..
things have really changed after u n tok ayah passed away..
our family drifted apart..
thing took a turn to the worse..
everyone changed..
i felt as though they're total strangers..
i can no longer feel the warmth and heat of love in their eyes..
it's like i'm a fallen angel..
things at the office are also not going so good..
it's like history id repeating itself..
but Alhamdulillah not as worse as before..
i still gave friends that will stand by my side when i most needed it..
my love who faithfully stayed by my side..
to hear every story, every pain, every torture that i felt..
he was always there..
my best friends are there too..
i thankful to have such great people in my life..
hopefully i can become stronger than before..
and keep smiling when problems come in my way..
i want to be strong..
i want to be carefree..
to feel accomplished..
be free to be me..
with nobody to judge..
nobody to pick a fight with me..
but maybe that is all in my dreams..
i can just hope for that eternal happiness to come..
that's all i can say for now..
i really do miss u atok..
hope i can get to see u in my dreams..
feel ur hug..
kiss u..