haven't been updating on myself a lot lately isn't it?
well, lots to tell but never had the mood to do so..
my posts have been shorter and shorter by time..
as myself has been all over the place lately..
busy with work..
workload getting more and more everyday..
relationship?
i dunno..
maybe he's just not ready to take the next step yet..
we both aren't..
but he's been more unwilling than ever..
maybe he has been rethinking the whole marrying me thing..
who knows right?
he just left me feeling empty sometimes..
until I wonder whether the feeling is still mutual..
or am I the only one hoping..
when we see each other it feels forced..
like he's just entertaining me for the sake of my happiness..
not for his..
i just wish i can see the truth behind all this..
he has been reluctant almost everytime i ask him out..
then my head will start spinning from all my thoughts..
does he still love me?
does he have someone else?
is he bored with me?
why is he like this?
maybe he doesn't want me anymore..
God, please give me strength to go through this..
if he's not meant to be mine please give me strength to let him go..
if we're meant for each other, please open his heart to fight for us..
fight for this relationship..
even when i am giving up..
