Dear Mr Boo..

If only i could turn back time..

Maybe all of this would never happen..

Maybe i wouldn't feel they way i feel now..

Truth is sometimes i feel that i'm losing him..

I can't help but feel suspicious of whatever he does..

Feel so sensitive to his every actions..

And maybe all of this is my fault..

He has always been all but faithful to me..

Instead how do i repay him?

I was selfish..

Reckless..

Stupid to realize my actions towards his love and affection towards me..

Even he still treats me nicely, deep down i can feel there is something heavy he's hiding..

It's been bothering me ever since..

But i don't want to push him to tell me if he doesn't want to..

However almost every night i will think about it..

Even when i'm with him..

His every move, way he talks to me, treats me..

Every single thing might break me or make me stronger..

I can't help but be prepared for what's coming..

I'm really sorry boo but i dunno how to make it go away..

Loyalty?

"A true friend treats u like family"

All the words are true..

However i can't help but feel that i treat most of my friends like that..

But not really the other way around..

Well, the other day i was going into spore for "jalan raya"..

During the time waiting to go through the custom checkpoint..

My mum and my aunt was talking about me going to malacca to spend time with one of my bestfren during college days..

She was getting married..

Anyways, my aunt was kinda questioning why i wanted to spend almost a week there..

Then my mum backed me up and said..

'Just let her go, she has lots of friend during happy times..but during hard times most of them dissapear..i pity her'

That time i actually tried my best to maintain my composure..

But only Allah knows how i felt at the moment..

Then i thought to myself..i tried my hardest to keep that a secret from my family..

But hey, moms know best right?

Who am i to lie about it..

It's ok mum..

I'm used to it now..

I know they always look for me when they have a problem but ignores me when i'm in need..

But i want u to know..

I still want to help..

Call me an idiot, call me weak..

But i will not change a thing..

Because there will come a time that people will appreciate what i've done for them..

They will see the real reason why i did that..

Who they can actually count on..

I can be strong if i believe it..

Isn't it?

I don't think i can continue this further without tears in my eyes..

No matter what happens, i know instill have myself.. :')

Best wishes

Exactly past the stroke of midnight..

15th august 2015..

It's someone's birthday..

Someone special in my life..

Not that kind of special..

He's my best friend..

Well, he may not always be around but trust me..

He gives the perfect advices..

And whatever he says to me whenever i'm down is exactly what i want to hear from someone..

We understood each other clearly..

I am thankful to Allah for bringing this special person into my life to be my guide, part of my strength..

He who wills me to push harder after every defeat..

To stand up again after every fall..

Thank you is just not enough for all u've done for me..

We may not see each other as often..

But whenever we do it's like we never parted!

Anyways, enough with the babbling..

I wanna wish u a very happy birthday..

May Allah grants ur wishes and dreams..

Guided safely through every steps of ur life..

Be happy always with the ones u love and cherish..

Have a blast friend! :D

All gone..

X tw nk ckp cmne tp ati nie kuat rse yg die da x syg aku lg..

Mainan prasaan ke?

Aku pn x pasti..

Tp aku ngah sediakn dri perlahan2 utk kenyataan tu..

Byk kali aku cbe pjuk ati nie..

Tp tu gak yg aku rse..

Npe jd cmni?

Ya Allah, tnjukknlah kebenaran pd ku..

Terseksa rsenye main teka teki cmni..

Mkn ati..

Menanges jer memanjang..

Rse tkut, sunyi, x yakin..sume ade..

Kwn2 kebanyakan ngan idup masing2..

Tgur pn masing2 diam jer..

Ntah la, diorg bahagia ngan pasangan sndri..

Bgus klau cmtu..

Smoge bahagia..

Aku nie yg mcm digantung x bertali..

Rse ksong jer ati..sunyi sgt2..

R.E.S.P.E.C.T!

people often say,
respect work both ways..
isn't it?
well, to most people it does..
some people will always feel that they're more superior and they will always be respected..
u're wrong man..
even if u're older or more superior whatever u still need to respect people below..
respect is earned, not given..
and sometimes listening is better than just jumping to conclusions..
right?
not pointing it out on anyone particular but it's just what i've been going through these few months..
getting yelled at something that u're trying to explain..
not even listening to the full story but already jumped to their own conclusions..
without even thinking about how the other party felt..
me walking away is simply a sign that i respect u and i don't want to make things worse..
depends on what you're understanding is..
because to be honest, i don't give a damn..
i think i'm old enough to make my own decisions most of the time..
please just respect me, my belongings, my space and my life..
everyone have their own lives..
they don't just live to please u..
Assalam..

Dear Me...

Dear Me,
If u're somewhere reading this..
I just want you to know that i miss u..
i miss what i can become with u..
i can barely recognize who i am now..
what have i become is somewhat a mystery even to myself..
i've become so full of anger, hatred and rebellious..
what had become of the once innocent girl that laughs a lot..
very positive of life and strong?
who faces every challenge in life like a simple game..
who keeps a smile on everyday..
who can hide her tears until before going to sleep..
who can keep on doing what she has to without complaint..
who likes to take up any challenges thrown at her?
who never bothered what people says to her..
who is always so cheerful and funny..
who is likable by many and friendly..
sometimes i feel like a stranger to myself..
well, i guess time will tell..
hope i can meet u soon..
please come back..

love,

me..

Trapped...

Assalam,
pnah x kte tnye dri sndri npe nasib kte cmni?
npe sush utk org keliling nk phm kte?
bg ruang kt kte utk wt kputusan sndri?
kdg sush rse nk truskn idup sbb x dpt sokongan dr org yg kte syg...
especially dr parents kte sndri..
kdg terpk, diorg nie sdar x diorg la tmpt bergantung utk anak2?
diorg la contoh n tmpt rujukan klau de mslh ke pape..
tp x..parents aku x phm...
diorg mlut jer ckp phm tp ati ckp lain..
mule2 ckp lain nnt da lme2 ckp lain..
slhkn aku utk bnde yg jd...
Ya Allh, npe bckp mcm xde tuhan nie?
slhkn takdir ke?
aku mntk ke bnde2 nie jd kt aku?
x pnah rsenye..
x pnah aku mntk idup aku cmni..
keje sush nk kekal..
kwn2 x rmai yg setia..
slalu kne pijak..
bwk kete jarang selamat..
sume tu slh aku ke?
ble ade pape jd, bgduh slhkn aku..
spe mak bapak skang nie?
sume slhkn anak..
bgus la cmtu kn..
lyn anak pn mcm member2..
jgn la slhkn anak2 lpas nie klau kte lyn mcm member2 gak..
ilang rse hormat nie kdg2..
tp kte ttap sbr sbb masih ade rse hormat lg dlm dri nie..
cume sbr pn ade batas..
jgn nnt ble anak bukak mlut ckit ckp derhaka, kurg ajar..
die jer nk mnang..
alasan lbey byk makan garam..
ye, mmg btul tp kehidupan dlu ngan skang x sme..
skang nie mkin mencabar..
ble sush ckit slhkn spe?
anak2? sbb ape?
x blaja btul2?
dpt keje gaji kecik? cpt ngalah?
klau keje tu da pangkat manager x pnah kne pijak..
jgn ckp ngan kte la psl ngalah..
don't act like a king when u have no idea what i've been through..
sbb ape?
sbb x pnah nk amek tw..
sbb tlalu pntingkn dri..
x pnah nk pduli jge ati org..
cermin dlu dri sndri tu seblum nk tgur org lain..
klau ikutkn ati mmg berjela2 post nie tp rse stakat nie la aku taip..
sekian~