R.E.S.P.E.C.T!

people often say,
respect work both ways..
isn't it?
well, to most people it does..
some people will always feel that they're more superior and they will always be respected..
u're wrong man..
even if u're older or more superior whatever u still need to respect people below..
respect is earned, not given..
and sometimes listening is better than just jumping to conclusions..
right?
not pointing it out on anyone particular but it's just what i've been going through these few months..
getting yelled at something that u're trying to explain..
not even listening to the full story but already jumped to their own conclusions..
without even thinking about how the other party felt..
me walking away is simply a sign that i respect u and i don't want to make things worse..
depends on what you're understanding is..
because to be honest, i don't give a damn..
i think i'm old enough to make my own decisions most of the time..
please just respect me, my belongings, my space and my life..
everyone have their own lives..
they don't just live to please u..
Assalam..

Dear Me...

Dear Me,
If u're somewhere reading this..
I just want you to know that i miss u..
i miss what i can become with u..
i can barely recognize who i am now..
what have i become is somewhat a mystery even to myself..
i've become so full of anger, hatred and rebellious..
what had become of the once innocent girl that laughs a lot..
very positive of life and strong?
who faces every challenge in life like a simple game..
who keeps a smile on everyday..
who can hide her tears until before going to sleep..
who can keep on doing what she has to without complaint..
who likes to take up any challenges thrown at her?
who never bothered what people says to her..
who is always so cheerful and funny..
who is likable by many and friendly..
sometimes i feel like a stranger to myself..
well, i guess time will tell..
hope i can meet u soon..
please come back..

love,

me..

Trapped...

Assalam,
pnah x kte tnye dri sndri npe nasib kte cmni?
npe sush utk org keliling nk phm kte?
bg ruang kt kte utk wt kputusan sndri?
kdg sush rse nk truskn idup sbb x dpt sokongan dr org yg kte syg...
especially dr parents kte sndri..
kdg terpk, diorg nie sdar x diorg la tmpt bergantung utk anak2?
diorg la contoh n tmpt rujukan klau de mslh ke pape..
tp x..parents aku x phm...
diorg mlut jer ckp phm tp ati ckp lain..
mule2 ckp lain nnt da lme2 ckp lain..
slhkn aku utk bnde yg jd...
Ya Allh, npe bckp mcm xde tuhan nie?
slhkn takdir ke?
aku mntk ke bnde2 nie jd kt aku?
x pnah rsenye..
x pnah aku mntk idup aku cmni..
keje sush nk kekal..
kwn2 x rmai yg setia..
slalu kne pijak..
bwk kete jarang selamat..
sume tu slh aku ke?
ble ade pape jd, bgduh slhkn aku..
spe mak bapak skang nie?
sume slhkn anak..
bgus la cmtu kn..
lyn anak pn mcm member2..
jgn la slhkn anak2 lpas nie klau kte lyn mcm member2 gak..
ilang rse hormat nie kdg2..
tp kte ttap sbr sbb masih ade rse hormat lg dlm dri nie..
cume sbr pn ade batas..
jgn nnt ble anak bukak mlut ckit ckp derhaka, kurg ajar..
die jer nk mnang..
alasan lbey byk makan garam..
ye, mmg btul tp kehidupan dlu ngan skang x sme..
skang nie mkin mencabar..
ble sush ckit slhkn spe?
anak2? sbb ape?
x blaja btul2?
dpt keje gaji kecik? cpt ngalah?
klau keje tu da pangkat manager x pnah kne pijak..
jgn ckp ngan kte la psl ngalah..
don't act like a king when u have no idea what i've been through..
sbb ape?
sbb x pnah nk amek tw..
sbb tlalu pntingkn dri..
x pnah nk pduli jge ati org..
cermin dlu dri sndri tu seblum nk tgur org lain..
klau ikutkn ati mmg berjela2 post nie tp rse stakat nie la aku taip..
sekian~

Forever after..

Hai awk..

Cbe awk bce ayat ats nie..

Phm x?

Hahaha..hrp phm la..

Anyway, sy nk mntk maaf klau ade wt awk sket ati ke ape..

Abaikn awk ke..

Sy nk mntk maaf utk sgalenye..

Mmg awk ckp xde pape, awk ok..

Tp ntah la kn..ati sy nie rse ade bnde yg x kne ngan awk..

Mcm awk ade smbunyikn sumthing dr sy..

Cume sy x nk pakse..

Klau awk rse sy nie pnting bg awk..

Awk bley cye sy ngan mslh awk..

Awk akn cte gak kt sy 1 ari nnt..

Mgkin gak awk pnat keje kn..

Kdg kte sush nk jmpe..

Yelah, awk mesty pnat lpas blek keje..

Time chat tu mcm moody jer..

Time kuar sesme pn snyap jer x byk ckp..

Awk slalu tnye npe sy syek tenung jer mke awk..

Sy mesty ckp xde pape..

Sbb x nk awk rsau..

Sy cume rse sunyi..rse rndu sgt..

Kte jarang bergurau sgt skang..

Sy x slhkn awk..yelah, kdg sy nie hangin..

Awk nk bgurau, sy mrh2..

Tp awk da lain..

Dlu awk slalu tnye sy ok ke x..

Usik2 sy..check fon sy..

Klau x bukak gmbr ke chat awk men game..

Skng nie klau sy ltak ats meja awk wt2 x nmpk jer..

Mgkin awk pnat kn?

Cian awk..sy nie pk bkn2 jer..

Awk byk lg bnde lain nk pk..

Syek mlayan sy jer..

Pnat la..

Sy pn x nk bebankn awk..

Yelah, syek pk bnde bkn2 jer..

Sy rse jauh ngan awk..

Mcm hbungan kte nie da x mesra mcm dlu..

Klau sy ade wt slh awk tgur jer k..

InshaAllah sy bley trime..

Xde spe yg sempurna kt dunie nie syg..

N klau sy pressure awk psl kawen, psl family sy..

Sy mntk maaf..sy x ptut libatkn awk..

Kte nie bkn sespe pn..

Blum ade pape ikatan lg..

Tpulang pd awk, awk nk wtpe..

Sy x halang..

Sy akn cbe sdaya upaya sy utk phm n sokong awk..

Stiap doa sy mesty ade nama awk..

Sy doa smoga Allah kuatkn jodoh kte..

Permudahkn perancangan kte..

InshaAllah klau ade rzeki kte x kemane ln syg..

Dear Mr Boo

                            

Dear Mr Boo..

I'm so sorry for what i'm feeling right now..

I know it's not fair to feel this way..

It's just too much has been going on lately..

And we've been quite apart from each other..

I miss u..i love u..i still do..

But somehow, not having u next to me..

At least getting to contact u as often as we used to..

Makes me feel so lonely..

I feel so alone..so weak that i can barely breath..

Every moment that i spent without hearing from u feels so empty..

So hollow..

I understand that u're not feeling well and u can barely move..

But i'm not mad at u..

I'm just merely frustrated at myself for not having to take care of u..

We're just too busy with our own things that we sometimes forget to at least say hi to the person we love..

At least to remind them that we still care..

And that the feeling is mutual..

I'm sorry if i let out my anger on u..

I didn't mean to do that to u..

Sometimes i wonder where is the guy that i fell for..

The one who's so protective of me..

Who always asks me a gazillion questions..checks my phone every now and then..

Keeps on asking how my day was going..

Am i ok or not..

Well, maybe it's just because u're not feeling well and u're busy..

That is what i keep on telling myself..

So that i still have hope for our relationship..

Bcoz lately i feel so empty..

I feel that u're not around..

Only ur body but not ur soul..

I hope things will get better between us..

And what we planned for will become true soon..

Yours truly,

Mrs Boo

Hopeless

Have you ever felt sometime in your life..

That everything just falls apart inside of you..

Without reason, without pain..

You just feel so alone, hopeless..

All the positivity that you so badly contained all this while just suddenly escapes you?

And all that's left is just emptiness..

Hollowness creeping all over your body, your soul..

And it makes the tears automatically flow..

You tried to punish yourself without reason..

You tried building yourself up but it's just not so easy anymore..

All those guilt that you kept inside of you is flooding within you..

And you feel that there's nothing you can do to repair it..

You know that it's the thing of the past..

But all the marks from your past never left you..

The marks has become part of you..

Like an invinsible tattoo stuck on your skin..forever..

Except that it slowly crushes you..

All your hope, you happiness, all your strength..

Drained away..sucked but the marks of your past..

Leaving you fragile..

But you know you have to fight..

You have to conceal it from everyone around you..

Because the look up to you..

To become a symbol of hope and strength..

But the moment all the eyes left you..

You are left alone to crumble..

You cried yourself to sleep almost every night..

And wake up in the morning having to rebuild yourself so that you can face people..

On an on until someone or something that can tear apart all the marks from you..

And only then you will be truly free..

I am still awaiting that moment to come..

Dear EX...

                           

Dear ex..

Yes, i admit that we did keep in touch lately..

And yes, i did asked u to help me with job hunting..

And also yes, i did kinda asked a few extra questions..

But well, the only reason i'm asking it is actually for myself..

I mean, u did offered me to help with job hunting and yes..i thank you for that..

But regarding those personal questions and all, it's actually for some closure..

Because we broke up in a nice adult way..

No quarelling, no names calling like we used to..no harshness..

We just simply parted and only i knew the reason why u asked to broke up with u..

But now i know that u know i was testing u and everything..u were aware what i was trying to do to u..

U confessed every single mistake that u made since we broke up..

It did stirred up some old feelings but was automatically swept away by memories of my current boyfriend..

I do feel sorry for u but i have a new life with my boyfriend now..

The story between us is long past..

My final words to u would be..

Thank you and hope u find someone better to replace me..which i'm sure is kinda difficult to find :D

Anyway, good luck finding my replacement! ;)