fallen angel..

dear atok..
i miss u..
how are u up there?
are u doing fine?
i hope everything's well with u..
things have really changed after u n tok ayah passed away..
our family drifted apart..
thing took a turn to the worse..
everyone changed..
i felt as though they're total strangers..
i can no longer feel the warmth and heat of love in their eyes..
it's like i'm a fallen angel..
things at the office are also not going so good..
it's like history id repeating itself..
but Alhamdulillah not as worse as before..
i still gave friends that will stand by my side when i most needed it..
my love who faithfully stayed by my side..
to hear every story, every pain, every torture that i felt..
he was always there..
my best friends are there too..
i thankful to have such great people in my life..
hopefully i can become stronger than before..
and keep smiling when problems come in my way..
i want to be strong..
i want to be carefree..
to feel accomplished..
be free to be me..
with nobody to judge..
nobody to pick a fight with me..
but maybe that is all in my dreams..
i can just hope for that eternal happiness to come..
that's all i can say for now..
i really do miss u atok..
hope i can get to see u in my dreams..
feel ur hug..
kiss u..

yg mane satu idaman kalbu?

pening la..
x tw nk plih mane satu nie..
iphone5s ke samsung note III?
hurm..
samsung pnye screen bsar..
hrge pn mcm ok jer..
td survey2 bru RM1999..
iphone5s plak RM2480..
jauh lg murah la dr first aku tgk..
mse tu aku survey RM2699 kot..
gler la..
tp aku nekad nk amek fon bru..
nk kumpul duet..
huhuhu..

too tired for my own good..

Ya Allah..

pnat yg tramat skang nie..

mkin bz ngan keje..

smpikn bnde len pn tergendala..

nk bli fon..

nk renew lesen yg bru mati..

nk wt spek bru..

hurm..

migrain pn da menyerang..

nsib bek la roadshow utk thun nie da abes..

klau x mmg x te la nk ckp ape..

ngan org x ckup kt admissions tu..

kdg2 srabut gak wt keje..

ngan guest yg mcm2 prangai lg..

haish, kesabaran jela..

huhu..

tp semlm alhamdulillah..

i got my first compliment dr guest spore..

well, agak tkjut n x cye gak la ble die compliment tu..

hahahaha..

sbb nye aku rse aku wt keje mcm biase jer..

xdela bgus sgt..

ngehngeh..

alhamdulillah, ade gak org yg hargai keje aku..

even aku xde kwn kt tmpt keje tu tp aku x pduli..

aku wt jer keje aku..

wt hal sndri..

n pihak atasan nmpk usahe aku..

juz skang nie maybe overworked kot..

tp tpakse mc sbb mmg sgt x larat nk g keje..

sket kpale yg tramat..

huhuhu..

nsib bek la esok off day..

bley rhat lg..

okla, nk titun..

bubui guys..

:)

life and death..

Asslamualaikum..

figured out this picture yet?

well, it's all about life and death..

the left side is the life part where the tree grows strong and got all the nutrients it needed

the right side is the opposite of it..

everything on the right side already died..even the clouds are dark..

same as us..

ever wondered how our afterlife is going to be?

some people do, some people don't..

some are too terrified to even think about it..

this thing suddenly occurred to me when Am said all things about death..

he said 'kau ttap akn syg aku even aku da xde kn dok?'

'kau jgn nanges tw ble kau nmpk jasad aku terbujur dgn kain kapan dpn kau, kau senyum jer ye'

at that time i tried fighting back the tears but failed..

i cannot lie to myself that i do love him..

even more than i should..

but he's like a part of me..

he's like my brother..

i cried myself that night hoping that all that was a joke and praying that he will live a long life..

i still haven't get to know him fully yet..

to Am, aku x tw la ape yg kau mksudkn ngan sume yg kau ckp tu..

tp klau btul bnde tu jd, aku nk jmpe kau wt kali trakhir..

aku nk pluk kau..

cium kau..

aku x pduli org nk ckp ape..

skurang2nye aku dpt wt cmtu utk kali trakhir seblum kau tgglkn aku..

tp klau x smpat, ape yg aku mampu wt utk kau is iringkn doa..

smoge kau ditempatkn di kalangan org2 yg briman..

hrp ape yg kau ckp tu cume sje2..

jgn tgglkn aku..

aku masih prlukn kau dlm idup aku..

:'(

sharing..

assalamualaikum..
it's really been a while right?
not much time to update the ongoings of my life..
work has been quite tiring and stressful but i'll manage somehow..
i always do..
i even have the love of my life now..
who is it?
jeng3..
(biarlah rahsia)
for now only..
hahaha..
(be patient people!!)
nnt sy tnjuk ye gmbrnye..
haha..
xkn nk tnjuk 1 dunie plak kn..
kepoh eh kau jemah..
ha'ah..kemain~
hihihi..
ok, back to my topic just now..
best friends..
they are family u never knew of..
they will always be there for u through thick and thin..
joy or sadness..
sharing ur happiness or sorrow..
lending u a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on and an ear that never stops hearing ur problems..
i just wanted u to know Am...
that i will always be there for u..
no matter how far..
no matter how hard it is..
i'll be there..
hope u feel that way too..
sorry aku x dpt nk tlg kau lately..
aku phm prasaan kau..
tp aku x pnah alami sndri..
n aku x tw cmne nk wt kau tenang n hepi..
ape yg aku mampu wt utk kau is dgr jer prob kau n nasihatkn ape yg ptut..
bg sokongan moral..
tu jer..
stay strong my friend..
i love u..
always and forever..
my BFF...
:)

best friends forever

btul kn gmbr kt ats nie?
sbb even rmai mane pn bestfren pmpuan kte..
xkn sme ngan bestfren laki..
someone yg kte bley gurau2 without tkut die jtuh ati kt kte..
kte bley mnje2 ngan die ble2 mse kte nk..
org nk jelez pn pduli ape sbb kte ngan die mcm adek bradek..
kte bley jd dri sndri ngan die..
klau mke kte buruk pn die xkn ketawakn kte..
die trime kte seadenye..
die pn sme..
x berpura2 jd org len..
kte slesa ngan die..
die pn cmtu..
lpas lme aku crik, at last aku jmpe gak..
am n man..
i'm really blessed to have friends like them..
x berkire..
caring..
slalu ade ble aku prlu..
cheer up aku ble aku cdey..
mmg bru knal tp ktorg mcm da knal lme..
cpt ngam..hehe..

 am

 man

 my bodyguards.. :)

 we're just crazyyyy!!!

man sewel..

uncontrollable

i failed..
failed to hold on to this relationship..
i thought i could be stronger than this..
but i failed..
sorry because i asked u to let me go..
it's just i can't help to lie to myself and to u..
the truth is i still can't forget him..
he still has that special place in my heart..
i regret for toying with ur feelings..
i dunno what i was thinking at that time..
i was stupid thinking that i could let him go totally..
100%..
awk, maafkn sy ye..
sy tpu awk..
slame nie sy brusaha nk lpekn die..
n cbe nk ltak awk dlm ati sy..
tp sy x bley..
ntah la..
ampunkn la sy..
lpas nie sy x nk bg harapan kt sespe lg..
sy x nk kne label 'player'
better sy stay single jer wt mse nie..
mengharapkn 'dia' yg x tw ble akn dtg blek kt aku..
mgkin gak die wt cmtu sbb nk jge ati aku jer..
dear heart, be strong and just let go..
move on please..
i have to stop torturing myself..
but at the same time..
i can't imagine myself with another guy..
maybe i'll stay like this until YOU decide my fate..
i leave it all to YOU..