i feel there is no need for my existence in this world anymore..
i feel that i have become a living doll..
well..i myself are not sure what is happening to myself..
i don't feel like smiling, even laughing..
it's like all emotions have been sucked from me..
it's like i don't have a soul anymore..
i would just smile or laugh to please people around me..
it doesn't come straight from my heart..
it's really fake..
but no matter what, i still manage to hide it from everyone around me..
especially HIM...A..
he doesn't even realize his every move, everything he says..
his face, even his voice makes me hurt even more...
makes me even more lifeless by the minute..
right now i just feel like hurting myself even more...
eating non stop..
sitting alone..
just daydreaming...
like a crazy person..
what is wrong with me?
when night comes, it's hard for me to close my eyes..
not without him popping in my head..
everywhere i look, i see his face...
god, when will this nightmare end?
i don't know how much longer i can stand this
before committing suicide or going crazy...
i hate how i keep thinking about him...
it hurts so much...
please let this nightmare end...
please........ :'(
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