Moving on..

Hey there,

It's really been a while since i've updated my life here..

Well, it's because i can't seem to find anything to update except that i'm really happy now with him (afiq) and i know he loves me way more than i love him..

But somehow, we will always have something to update in our life..

For instance, your ex has someone new in his life..

Some people might think 'woah, you're way happier now..why turn back?'

The answer is, 'no, i'm not turning back..i'm just simply wishing for him to be happy with whoever he is with right now and hoping the same for me..that is what u call being mature..you can openly express what u feel about someone who had been in your life without it affecting your present life..in this case, my current relationship..

Enough babbling, i wish u many happy years ahead dear ex and hope your relationship now will last till jannah..aminn..

old & new..

I hate it..
I hate that I cannot be as happy as I were before..
I loathe myself that I were unable to control my emotions..
even for some small issue, I would lose my temper..
I can cry over some small things..
I miss my old life..
old people from my earlier life..
now everything seems dull..
dark, stressful and I dunno what I can do to fix it..
it makes me feel so frustrated..
I feel as if I've lost hope in everything..
lost in my own despair..
what should I do?
should I stay down and quit?
or should I get back up and fight?

life..

life...
it depends on how we define it..
it can be happiness, sadness, frustrations, delight, joy, everything that words can describe..
but its all up to u..
to shape your own life..
to sketch you own path..
in life, i've learned to laugh, to hurt..
to love, to appreciate, to feel depressed, to feel neglected..
lots more..
people may see me as the bubbly girl..
one who never has any problems..
but deep inside, only I know the true answer..
only i know the real me..
what i've been through..
what i've felt..
how i've been thrown away by someone i loved..
isolated by people i call friends..
getting jealous over someone i thought was my best friend..
but instead they only seek me in their times of despair..
i was like a pit stop..
where people come to fix all their problems, what's making their day feel bad..
pour all their untold secrets..
feelings..then leave whenever they felt better..
and never ready to be there with me when i need them..
yes, i feel unimportant to some people..
maybe i need a few people that will pay their full attention to me..
know when i'm sad..
when i'm just tired..
when i just needed someone too sit quietly with..
when i need someone to hug..
but above all, i just wanted to feel special to someone..

i want you badly..

truth is..
i really miss u..
every minute of everyday..
no matter what i do, i will always think about u..
i dunno why..
but i feel like i want u more when i'm sad or alone..
i feel so helpless without u..
u're like apart of me..
please don't let me be no matter what..
i can't live without u by my side..
not even for a day..
i feel so lost..
now i'm crying because i miss u so so much..
and i can't even tell u that..
u're busy..
what i can do is just gather my strength and try not to cry a lot..
:'(

Throwback! Part 4..

hallu..
msih die dlm tjuk baling kebelakang..
hahaha..
cbe teka gmbr nie mse ble?
mesty la x dpt jwb kn..
nie adela mse roadshow MATTA Fair JB kt Danga City Mall..
time nie ngah bosan gler nk mampus..
hahaha..
so ape lg..
men snap2 gmbr la kn..
x bley blah..
org ngah lalu lalang tgk jer ktorg men snap2..
bknnye nk promote pn..
ktorg dduk ctu dok gelak2 tgk gmbr sme sndri..
mmg hampeh btul prangai mse tu..
nsib bek xde org len kt ctu..
tp bos tmpt yg ktorg tumpg nie tenung jer dr jauh..
lantak la, ade aku kesah?
hahahah...
whatever~
bubui...
:*

Throwback! Part 3..

hey..
mesty korg tertnye2 kn ape jwpn interview aku mse tu?
dpt ke x?
jwpnnye is Alhamdulillah..
i got the part..
so now i'm officially a team leader..
mcm assistant supervisor la..
monitor staf bwh aku..
uniform pn da tukr colour tw..
jgn men2..
hahaha..
anyway, so far aku still ok lg ngan keje..
i'm getting used to the new working environment..
mcm culture shock gak la..
tp Alhamdulillah aku ok..
mule2 tu mmg byk dugaan..
ade yg x ske kte dpt jwtn nie..
mcm2 die ckp psl kte..
die psiko kte..
x btgur..
nganjing2...
yes, at that time i broke..
sbb aku nie jnis yg cpt serba slh..
bg aku, mcm aku slh sbb trime jwtn nie..
tp ble dgr ape bos aku ckp, org keliling aku ckp..
aku kmpul sume kekuatan aku n aku tempuh jer..
nsib bek ade yg sokong aku..
byk bg semangat kt aku..
n stakat nie diorg still bg layanan yg sme ngan aku..
cume maybe ade la yg len ckit..
tp aku wt x tw jer..
tpulg pd msing2 cmne nk trime bnde nie..
ape yg aku bley wt skang is yg terbaik jer..
yg pnting mcm bos aku ckp..
'kau x ske aku ke, kau nk maki hamun aku ke, lantak la sbb yg pnting gaji aku ttap jln'
tu ayat die yg mmg btul2 bg smangat kt aku..
wt aku bgn utk tempuh ape jer cabaran..
mmg bnyi die mcm agk truk sbb yelah, psl duet kn..
tp bg aku bnde tu mksud die mndalam..
bg aku, mksud die is wt la ape pn, kte x bley hepikn n puaskn ati sume org..
ape kte wt pn mmg akn ade jer yg akn cbe nk jtuhkn kte..
kte kne byk bsbr n kuatkn semangat utk x jtuh tersungkur..
inshaAllah...

Throwback! part 2..

jeng3...
nmpk x nmpk x?
hahaha..
ini la hasil ble bosan..
ngengeh..
sbnrnye gmbr nie mse ngah training service culture..
ngantuk sgt dgr HR tu membebel..
nsib bek la kt lego nie bley men lego even ade taklimat ke training pape la..
so aku wt la bnde nie..
yg pling klakarnye aku da wt nme aku n die..
skali HR tu dtg n tenung jer aku wt..
haha..
hampeh..
x mcm merah plak mke aku mse tu..
gatal sgt tgn kn nk wt bnde tu..
cpt2 aku leraikn..
aigooo...
tp overall mmg best sbnrnye men lego nie..
cbela try..
hihi
:)